Erewhon contains some of the most notorious criminals in all of the world of Poptropica…but could their abilities be used for someone’s advantage?
Director D., a cunning and charismatic spy, and Madimoiselle Moreau, a sweet yet spiteful Frenchwoman, are both villains who have managed to avoid the long arm of the law. They have teamed up to start their grandest plan yet, but they will need a little help.
HELLO THERE EVERYONE. CAPTAIN CRAWFISH HERE. MY RABBIT… ACQUAINTANCE? I CAN’T QUITE CALL HIM A FRIEND. HE SAID THAT TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY, WHICH I FIND ABSOLUTELY ABSURD. YOU REALLY NEED DAYS FOR EVERYTHING?
ANYWAY. I WANTED TO CLEAR UP SOME THINGS, BECAUSE SOME OF YOU ARE TRULY BECOMING AN EMBARRASSMENT TO US VILLAINS.
FIRST. I BEG–NO, I NEVER BEG! I DEMAND THAT YOU STOP WITH THIS WHOLE “ARRR ME HEARTIES” STUFF! EVEN IF WE HAVE OUR WAY OF SPEAKIN’, WE DON’T HAVE MAGGOTS FOR BRAINS! MOST PIRATES COME FROM AROUND THE WORLD, MANY OF US FROM EUROPE OR ASIA. ME PERSONALLY, I’M FROM BRITAIN.
I CAN’T REMEMBER EVER SAYING “ARRRR” EITHER. THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING SOMEONE MADE UP IN FICTION TO MAKE US SEEM AS STRANGE AS THOSE ALIENS MORDRED TALKS ABOUT.
EITHER WAY, I JUST WANTED TO CLEAR THAT UP SO YOU KIDS COULD STOP MAKIN’ FOOLS OF US.
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF ROOT BEER BECAUSE THERE’S NO GOOD STUFF HERE
– CAPTAIN CRAWFISH 🦞
Aye, so it appears Crawfish somehow bent the rules o’ time ‘n space t’ access me account. He also appears t’ nah understand wha’ the CAPS LOCK be. Me deepest apologies fer any confusion, but ahoy, nah me fault!
DIRECTOR D. and MADEMOISELLE MOREAU are in their office, waiting during another break between patients.
MOREAU
So, what’s taking so long? We have them, let’s go.
DIRECTOR D.
They’ve been tightening security even more than usual, and it doesn’t help that any of the helicopters have to be permitted by the computers in that “off-limits” upper floor.
MOREAU
Ah yes, Jupiter’s lab. Hasn’t Black Widow entered many highly-guarded museums before? She ought to be able to do something.
DIRECTOR D.
I asked her, and…
CUT TO BLACK WIDOW laughing for a solid few seconds, before answering dead-faced.
We see a very cluttered lab, filled with important scientific instruments as well as random glittery trinkets. A woman sits at her desk alone, dressed in a wrinkled lab coat, several empty energy drinks littered around her.
DR. JUPITER enters the room, holding a cup of morning coffee, and glances at the window.
DR. JUPITER
Have you…been working on that all night?
WOMAN
Yup!
(She jumps out of her chair.)
And I think I’ve found it, I’ve really got it this time! I mean, I hope–it didn’t go so great before, but I’m (almost) positive now!
DIRECTOR D. and MOREAU are watching the prisoners from outside the lunchroom, through the window. Inside, the GUARDS are leading the three to their table.
MOREAU
What if we just told them who we actually are? Perhaps they would work better with a bit of fear pushing them.
DIRECTOR D.
Do you really think we can intimidate them? They may be desperate, but I doubt they’d all be willing to obey our every command if they felt they were being used.
MOREAU pinches her forehead.
MOREAU
If only one of them could keep them in line for us…
As if almost on cue, more (real) prison guards enter the hall, leading an older man dressed as a pirate, just as the AGENTS leave the lunch room.
EREWHON GUARD 1
Hey, is there any chance we can add him? He slept past lunch and we couldn’t do much about it.
One of the AGENTS shares a concerned glance with D. and MOREAU.
MOREAU
(Points at the window, towards the three)
…I don’t think it would be safe to put him in with them.
The PRISONER chuckles, leaning towards her, showing yellowed (and one real gold) teeth. MOREAU backs away.
CRAWFISH
I believe I can handle them m’dear!
DIRECTOR D. turns to the AGENT.
DIRECTOR D.
Let him in.
D. and MOREAU watch intently as the pirate is led into the room. Surprisingly, the other prisoners do not protest his seating at their table. One of the GUARDS hand CRAWFISH a tray of food before leaving. CRAWFISH practically starts drooling, and ties a cheap napkin to his shirt as though he were about to begin a 5 star feast.
DR. HARE picks at his food.
DR. HARE
I understand that this place has limited vegetarian options but…why are the mashed potatoes green?
BLACK WIDOW
If you think that’s bad, I think I chipped a tooth on the bread here once.
The COOK (Note: The same chef who served Myron Van Buren in Survival Island) enters from the kitchen, scowling.
COOK
Is that complaining about the food I hear?
DR. HARE
Unsurprisingly yes-
CRAWFISH
Ah, don’t listen to ‘em! This is delicious!
(He turns to the COOK, aware of who she is but just playing.)
Give my thanks to the cook.
The COOK chuckles, and gives him an extra serving before walking off. CRAWFISH starts to chow down, while the rest look at him in confusion.
DR. HARE
You actually like that stuff?
CRAWFISH
Compared to the months of maggot infested biscuits I had to endure, this is heaven!
MORDRED
I had to endure months—years—ages without anything. Without the brilliance of my cybernetics I most certainly would have perished of hunger!
(Somewhat to himself)
Per aspera…
BLACK WIDOW
Oh here we go again with the sob story.
MORDRED glares at her, but once again his grin hasn’t faded. WIDOW doesn’t back away but loses some of her boldness.
MORDRED
I don’t want your pity, I want the world’s punishment for what happened—
CRAWFISH stands, slamming both hands on the table.
CRAWFISH
Enough! I’m certain everyone here has a horrible tale to tell, but can I have a meal in peace?
MORDRED
Who are you to order me around?
CRAWFISH turns to him, his tone suddenly becoming more cautious.
CRAWFISH
I was simply making a suggestion for your own good, sir.
Pause. MORDRED nods, and the tension in the room settles a little as they all get back to eating. We look back at DIRECTOR D and MOREAU, who are so interested in the prisoner’s behavior that they don’t notice a shadowed DR. JUPITER lurking behind them.
DIRECTOR D.
He—he’s a leader.
MOREAU
Of course he is. Even evil pirates don’t want to face a mutiny.
DIRECTOR D.
Yes, but he knows how to work with them! Mademoiselle, I believe we’ve found the ones who can work for us.
The camera follows JUPITER leaving them, both “psychologists” still not even suspecting his presence. He turns down a corner, before mumbling to himself with a faint smile.
DR. JUPITER
As have I, friends. As have I.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE 1.
And here we are! I’m just as excited to see where this goes as some of you are, and I’m happy so many of you have expressed interest in this series!
Of course, I can’t have a Villain Saga post without mentioning the amazing recent additions to the comic GEAR made!