PHB Series, The Villain Saga, Uncategorized

“The Villain Saga” Episode 3, Part 2

(Table of contents) (See previous)

CUT TO: DR. HARE being led to D. and MOREAU’S office.

DR. HARE

All right, I got the gist of it. You want me to do the dirty work for you so you can achieve some sort of thing?

MOREAU and DIRECTOR D. stare at each other. They’ve been uncovered. Their plan is ruined, if Hare can figure this out, then how long will it be until the others–

DIRECTOR D.

We didn’t–

DR. HARE

Hey, I was joking. Of course you’re helping me! Why else would you offer to work with someone as great as myself?

MOREAU hides her amusement and relief behind the clipboard she’s holding.

MOREAU

I must ask…how did this whole “rabbit” theme start?

DR. HARE

First off, it’s hare, not rabbit. And oh, it’s a long and glorious story! Some say it was tragic, but I say it was destiny, if such a thing exists!

(His backstory is shown in childlike crayon scribbles, while his speech becomes increasingly impassioned.)

DR. HARE

I was the greatest scholar at the National Institute for Silly Sciences!

DIRECTOR D.

(whispering)

Does he mean “superior”?

MOREAU

(whispering)

I think he means “stupid.”

DR. HARE

I was young and naive, but no less of a genius! However, none of my contributions to the Institute could compare to that day, that day of perfect fate! I was doing a simple experiment on the evilest bunny we came across, but then–!

(He jumps on the table)

I was in the way of the machinery, and my genius mind was fused with its, and a whole new world of possibilities opened up! “Dr. Harvey Hare” was no longer just a name, it was my destiny!

Long. Long. LONG pause.

DIRECTOR D. and MOREAU burst out laughing.

DR. HARE

What? No! That’s not how you’re supposed to react!

They keep laughing.

DR. HARE

Okay this is getting ridiculous.

DIRECTOR D.

Not half as ridiculous as your story!

DR. HARE

Okay, so what’s your deal then? What started you down this path?

DIRECTOR D. suddenly stops laughing. Both stare.

MOREAU

Well?

DIRECTOR D.

No one really…gets it.

MOREAU

We’re brain doctors now, with a (chuckles) genius scientist among us, surely it’s not too strange.

DIRECTOR D.

(sighs)

I wanted to remove everyone’s hair.

(he points at his head)

This is a toupee. I’m not going to bother hiding it since it’s already in the papers.

MOREAU tries to stop a laugh, but fails. DR. HARE doesn’t even bother and just starts cackling, confusing the guards that have entered the room. Among them are CRAWFISH, WIDOW, and BARD in special handcuffs. DIRECTOR D. doesn’t look any of them in the eye in the hopes they don’t notice his humiliation.

DIRECTOR D.

What’s going on? What are they doing here?

GUARD #1

Dr. Jupiter’s calling them up to floor 13, he needs Hare too.

MOREAU and DIRECTOR D. both snap back to serious, over HARE yelling “That’s doctor to you!” in the background.

DIRECTOR D.

Floor 13?

GUARD #1

Yessir.

DIRECTOR D.

Could we come along?

GUARD #2

Just a sec.

(He leaves with a walkie-talkie in hand, then comes back a moment later.)

He wants you to come along. But everyone must remain in the waiting area!

CUT TO. them heading to the elevators. DIRECTOR D. and MOREAU follow the guards leading DR. HARE, keeping towards the back of the group. In between giggles, MOREAU reaches for DIRECTOR D’S head. He puts his arm up to stop her.

DIRECTOR D.

Don’t you even think about it.


Castori honorem ~ Maryann/Smart Bubbles

7 thoughts on ““The Villain Saga” Episode 3, Part 2”

  1. This is HILARIOUS! I can’t WAIT for when the comic comes out! Are there any more Villian Saga comics around the PHB here somewhere? All I have are the chapters from the intro to the first appearance of the Black Widow.

      1. Ok, good to know. In that case, I’ll keep tuning into THESE posts. Thanks a lot!

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