The Villain Saga, Uncategorized

“The Villain Saga” Episode 3, Part 1

(Table of contents) (See previous)

FADE IN.

We open on DR. JUPITER in his office, which is buried in papers that have been ignored for weeks at least. On his desk are two diagrams he’s editing. To the left is one of a machine, quite similar to what RAVEN saw before. To the right, heavily shadowed, appear to be some sort of magical instructions.

A knock on the door. JUPITER quickly shuffles the paper away among the others. A GUARD enters.

GUARD

Dr. Jupiter, we just had to intercept another major fight in the lunchroom.

JUPITER

Any injuries? I hope the high-risk ones weren’t involved.

GUARD

A little bump here and there, but that’s it. And no, the “Big Four” are still eating separately.

JUPITER

Ah, good. I want them kept well for what’s going on this week.

The GUARD looks uncertain, especially towards JUPITER’S clear prioritizing of certain inmates. She pauses.

GUARD

With all due respect, Dr., I feel that if we started more programs for the less dangerous inmates, they might have a higher chance of rehabilitation.

DR. JUPITER stands, sighing.

JUPITER

“With all due respect”, we are a HIGH-RISK prison. None of those here have any hope. All we can do is see what use they have while they remain here.

GUARD

But some of them are quite peaceful–that, raven man, for example. I don’t think it’s right to focus on what they can just do for us–

DR. JUPITER glares at her. The GUARD falls silent. A dark aura seems to appear around him.

DR. JUPITER

I will not have any of this. Good day, miss.

The GUARD freezes, opens her mouth, then closes it. She turns and leaves the office. Once the door is closed, DR. JUPITER rolls his eyes and reaches for the phone.

DR. JUPITER

Yes…I’m interested if we can hire new guards.

CUT TO Dr. Hare, sitting by himself in the lunch room, nibbling on a carrot and completely ignoring the rest of his food.

A green-haired man rushes to the window, tapping on it rapidly.

DR. HARE

Ugh, what’s going on Spike?

SPIKE

Heyhey Dr. Hare! You should have seen it!

DR. HARE

Seen what?

Several guards come and try to pry SPIKE from the window, but he keeps talking.

SPIKE

The fight! It was epic! Even that Dr. D…dude…was impressed! Very!

DR. HARE

What is with him watching everyone eat lunch?

The GUARDS finally pull SPIKE away from the window and take him away. HARE shrugs and turns back to his carrot.

HARE

Eh, we’re all up to something here.


Castori honorem ~ Maryann/Smart Bubbles

PHB Series, The Villain Saga

“The Villain Saga” – Episode 2, Part 3

(Table of contents) (See previous)

INT. PRISON HALLWAY – AFTERNOON

DIRECTOR D. and MADEMOISELLE MOREAU are leaving their office, both looking rather pleased and excited.

MOREAU

I’d say after that, I deserve a relaxing break for today. A nice bath, and perhaps they have some decent food hidden away here…

DIRECTOR D.

Hey, you’re not the only–

DR. NYAH

(from down the hall)

Oh! Hi there! Could I bother you for a moment?

Continue reading ““The Villain Saga” – Episode 2, Part 3″
PHB Specials, The Villain Saga

The Villain Saga – Talk Like a Pirate Day Special 🏴‍☠️🦞

HELLO THERE EVERYONE. CAPTAIN CRAWFISH HERE. MY RABBIT… ACQUAINTANCE? I CAN’T QUITE CALL HIM A FRIEND. HE SAID THAT TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY, WHICH I FIND ABSOLUTELY ABSURD. YOU REALLY NEED DAYS FOR EVERYTHING?

ANYWAY. I WANTED TO CLEAR UP SOME THINGS, BECAUSE SOME OF YOU ARE TRULY BECOMING AN EMBARRASSMENT TO US VILLAINS.

FIRST. I BEG–NO, I NEVER BEG! I DEMAND THAT YOU STOP WITH THIS WHOLE “ARRR ME HEARTIES” STUFF! EVEN IF WE HAVE OUR WAY OF SPEAKIN’, WE DON’T HAVE MAGGOTS FOR BRAINS! MOST PIRATES COME FROM AROUND THE WORLD, MANY OF US FROM EUROPE OR ASIA. ME PERSONALLY, I’M FROM BRITAIN.

I CAN’T REMEMBER EVER SAYING “ARRRR” EITHER. THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING SOMEONE MADE UP IN FICTION TO MAKE US SEEM AS STRANGE AS THOSE ALIENS MORDRED TALKS ABOUT.

EITHER WAY, I JUST WANTED TO CLEAR THAT UP SO YOU KIDS COULD STOP MAKIN’ FOOLS OF US.

YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF ROOT BEER BECAUSE THERE’S NO GOOD STUFF HERE

– CAPTAIN CRAWFISH 🦞

The Big Sleep: A pirate just can’t get any rest around here.

Aye, so it appears Crawfish somehow bent the rules o’ time ‘n space t’ access me account. He also appears t’ nah understand wha’ the CAPS LOCK be. Me deepest apologies fer any confusion, but ahoy, nah me fault!

Honor t’ the beaver

Maryann/Smart Bubbles

PHB Series, The Villain Saga

“The Villain Saga” – Episode 2, Part 2

(Table of contents) (See previous)

CUT TO:

DIRECTOR D. and MADEMOISELLE MOREAU are in their office, waiting during another break between patients.

MOREAU

So, what’s taking so long? We have them, let’s go.

DIRECTOR D.

They’ve been tightening security even more than usual, and it doesn’t help that any of the helicopters have to be permitted by the computers in that “off-limits” upper floor.

MOREAU

Ah yes, Jupiter’s lab. Hasn’t Black Widow entered many highly-guarded museums before? She ought to be able to do something.

DIRECTOR D.

I asked her, and…

CUT TO BLACK WIDOW laughing for a solid few seconds, before answering dead-faced.

BLACK WIDOW

No.

CUT TO present.

DIRECTOR D.

…not very positive.

Continue reading ““The Villain Saga” – Episode 2, Part 2″
The Villain Saga

“The Villain Saga” – Episode 2, Part 1

(Table of contents) (See previous)

FADE IN.

INT. EREWHON PRISON – NIGHT

We see a very cluttered lab, filled with important scientific instruments as well as random glittery trinkets. A woman sits at her desk alone, dressed in a wrinkled lab coat, several empty energy drinks littered around her.

DR. JUPITER enters the room, holding a cup of morning coffee, and glances at the window.

DR. JUPITER

Have you…been working on that all night?

WOMAN

Yup!

(She jumps out of her chair.)

And I think I’ve found it, I’ve really got it this time! I mean, I hope–it didn’t go so great before, but I’m (almost) positive now!

DR. JUPITER

Cut to the chase, show me it.

Continue reading ““The Villain Saga” – Episode 2, Part 1″