The Villain Saga – Episode 4, Part 2

(Table of contents) (See previous)

CUT TO HARE at the door of the lunchroom. The guards take off his handcuffs, release him, and quickly slam the door. HARE starts walking across cautiously, but quickly takes on his unbothered facade.

HARE

Morning El Mustachio. I see they haven’t got you to shave that off yet.

(Con’t)

Morning Gretchen. You seem as pleasant as ever, mind if I take that?

(He snatches one of GRETCHEN’S carrots before she can even start yelling)

Ugh, everything tastes like hand sanitizer here.

The door opens again, and in comes RINGMASTER RAVEN. He hides near the wall, ignoring the gazes of the other prisoners.

We get a few shots of the dining hall. The six radioactive villains are all at one table, yakking about random things while in anti-superpower wrist cuffs. EL MUSTACHIO is relaying a story, not realizing GRETCHEN GRIMLOCK is getting up and leaving the table. BINARY BARD is just standing in a corner, no food, just standing and watching everyone’s moves.

HARE comes out with a lunch tray of nothing but carrots piled comically high. He looks around, and just decides to take an empty table.

CUT TO BLACK WIDOW, sitting at MUSTACHIO’S table and eating without a word or glance at him. Something hits her in the back of the head. She takes a look at the pea, then searches for the perpetrator. Everyone is acting normal. She goes back to eating.

RAVEN has his lunch tray and is back near the wall, not eating at any of the tables. He takes the foil off one of the styrofoam containers, revealing the last piece of a chocolate pie. It’s somewhat stale, but a chocolate pie nonetheless. RAVEN manages a small smile as he starts to cut his first bite with a fork.

And then a pea hits him straight between the eyes.

RAVEN

Tsk!

RAVEN looks up. A few tables away are the radioactive group, all snickering as SPEEDING SPIKE flings peas and other assorted vegetables at different prisoners.

RAVEN takes his pie out of the tin, and studies how the aluminum reflects in the light. He waits until SPIKE turns toward him again, armed with another pea, and reflects a beam of light from the ceiling at him.

RAVEN

Converso.

Instantly, SPIKE stops flinging peas at RAVEN, and turns them on himself instead. The peas bounce off his face and fly towards his tablemates. Shouts of confusion come from them, followed by all tossing food at him. This goes on until CRUSHER tosses a blueberry with too much force. It bounces off SPIKE and flies away from their table, hitting CAPTAIN CRAWFISH in the back of the head.

All six freeze.

CRAWFISH slowly rises from his chair. He keeps his back to the group as he grabs a stale, stiff bread stick. With a low growl, he turns to them, “sharpening” the bread with a roll.

COPY CAT

Uh oh.

CRAWFISH turns with a battle cry and jumps straight at the,m. The six scatter, SPIKE still unable to stop throwing peas at his own head. Tables and benches get knocked in the process, tripping some other prisoners to the floor.

In an attempt to slow him down, SIR REBRAL, known for his powers of telekinesis that he is incapable of using, jumps onto MUSTACHIO’s table and starts parkouring around the dining room, too fast for CRAWFISH to chase. MUSTACHIO yells at the footprint left in his plate. He snatches a single straw and his remaining peas, diving under the table and shooting at anyone who runs past.

WIDOW snaps, unable to have any peace. RATMAN runs straight at her in his escape attempt, and in a flash she knocks him back with old cracker “throwing stars”.

RAVEN bends over his chocolate pie, trying to shield it from the chaos.

RAVEN

Now what…

Taking his tray, he finds the furthest table available and hides under. The only signs of whoever sat there before are splashes of mashed potatoes. He peers out over the benches, and flinches when he comes face to face with BINARY BARD, who is still in the same corner.

BINARY BARD

Wonderful! Just wonderful.

With no further explanation, BARD ambles away from his spot, not participating in the mess.

We get a long shot of the dining room. Pretty much every prisoner besides RAVEN and BARD is engaging in guerilla warfare with chips, peas, mashed potatoes, and other foodstuffs that are probably far from safe for human consumption. CRAWFISH and REBRAL are engaged in an epic “sword fight” on top of a middle table.

CUT TO the security room, with a window looking into the dining area. A single Erewhon security guard is there, earbuds in and on his phone. A look at his screen shows a colorful game and some cute character illustrations, with the words “PRETTY GIRL CANDY CLOUD—0.005% RATE UP!”. He taps, and a box flashes on the screen, with a character jumping out—a scrawny man.

GUARD

Oh come on! Not Old Man Fart!

CUT TO back in the dining room. The area is a COMPLETE mess, with more tables upside down than in their normal positions. Several prisoners have banded together to use a table as a battering ram, trying to force open the door to the kitchen, while the other side pelts them with ammunition to try and stop them.

CRAWFISH

(From another table, doing nothing other than yelling and standing over REBRAL, who is flopped on the floor)

Keep at it men! There’s more weapons in store there!

Alarms start blaring. On the other side of the room, the main doors open, and guards finally flood in. MUSTACHIO and BLACK WIDOW’s team turn and focus their efforts on them instead. Several guards quite dramatically fall onto the “battleground” when hit.

HARE leaves CRAWFISH’S team to stop BLACK WIDOW’S advances, and the two engage in a very one-sided battle. WIDOW sends a flurry of punches at him before he even has a chance, and takes his carrot.

HARE

Nooo!!

He has no chance to stop her. She rushes behind him and grabs him by the ear, pinning the carrot to his throat.

WIDOW

We have ways of making you talk.

HARE

(choking)

I’ll do anything! Please! Just give it back!

BINARY BARD laughs again at the absurdity of it all. The guards continue rushing into the room, and as all their attention is on the other prisoners, he sneaks around the door and into the hall.

In the hall, he runs around a corner in just enough time to not be noticed by DR. JUPITER. The prison head enters, sighs, and presses a light switch. Sparks and bolts fly from the ceiling lights as they flicker. Everyone in the room freezes.

JUPITER

I expected nothing of you, and yet you somehow disappoint me!

(con’t)

This is the most childish display I’ve seen…guards, clean this mess up.

The guards finally get their act together and survey the room, breaking up the stunned groups of prisoners. One leads RAVEN away, allowing him to keep his pie. RAVEN scrapes off some extra bits of food that hit it as he heads out.

JUPITER

We’re going to have to make a report.

(Under his breath, towards the guards around him)

That’s truly going to slow things down…

JUPITER heads to the door, stops, and takes a quick look at all the prisoners behind him. He turns to a guard, his voice low.

JUPITER

Where is the Binary Bard?

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Castori honorem ~ Maryann/Smart Bubbles