It’s here, Poptropicans! The PHB Christmas special we promised will be posted in parts over the next 12 days leading up to Christmas. Here’s part one – enjoy!
EXT. PHB OFFICES
(The staff is gathered around a huge table. Clearly edited in SOUNDS OF LAUGHTER can be heard. BLAKE begins talking to his FELLOW AUTHORS.)
Blake: Well, it appears Christmas time has rolled around again. Are any of you going home for the holidays?
Fishy: Yes. I am returning to my native country of Iceland to be with my salmon family in this hard time of winter.
Blake: Alright then! I was gonna go help out that orphanage downtown, but if you guys don’t wanna go, then fine..
Paul: Alright, Blake. Normally you’re the definition of selfish and rude. What’s got you so cheery?
Blake: The blood of infants.
(A STUDIO LAUGH TRACK plays.)
Paul: No, but seriously.
Blake: Fine. Timmy put me up to this. Remember that bet we made, where I dressed up as a princess and walked around the offices for a week?
Paul: Yeah! I think Sam actually has that up on Youtube.
(A YOUTUBE UPLOAD is shown processing. It cuts to black, then you hear the sounds of clicking. The video flashes on screen, titled USE_TO_BLACKMAIL_BLAKE.AVI. In the video, BLAKE parades around the offices, ruling over it like a kingdom. SAM snickers in the background.)
INT. PHB OFFICES
(THE AUTHORS stand around the table, idly. COMPLETE SILENCE is heard.)
BT: Um, Paul? You’ve just been staring at the wall for 5 minutes. There’s nothing there.
Blake: Well, there is HP hanging Slip from the TV again.
(OFFSCREEN, the sound of HP hanging SLIPPERY RAPTOR to the TV can be heard, followed by a loud thud. SLIPPERY shouts in pain, and the action cuts back to the AUTHORS.)
BT: Yeah, that is pretty interesting. Anyway, I’m going back to Early Poptropica for the holidays. I have family there, and I haven’t written home in a few years…
Blake: So I can count you and Fishy out for helping me at the orphanage? Whatever…
EXT. ST. MARY’S ORPHANAGE
(THE AUTHORS, sans FISHY and BT, stand outside the orphanage. HP looks toward BLAKE.)
HP: Dude, why’d you drag us along?
Blake: Because we have two characters that we wrote off in the beginning of the special, and we’re pressed for time! Plus, Sister Mary needs our help with the kids anyway.
Sam rolls on the floor in a circle while laughing hysterically.
Slip: Wow, an orphanage actually named after a living person. Weird…
(SAM rolls in on a skateboard, and does an ollie over SAM, still laughing hysterically. He takes off his multicolored, 80s style sunglasses and smiles, revealing his single gold tooth. A close up shot of the tooth is shown. A single sparkle shines across the golden beauty.)
Sam: Yo yo yo! What up, it’s ya boy Sammy Fresh comin at ya live from the PHB Christmas Special!
HP: We don’t care.
Blake: The Gravity Falls references make this special twice as sad, but Sammy Fresh makes it twice as rad! Alright, let’s head inside.
Sam: Aight, dawg!
(SAM does an ollie over the threshold.)
This is Sammy Fresh, by the way –
To be continued…
6 thoughts on “PHB Christmas Special, Part 1: The Party Starts Here”
Why do I feel like Sam is a shotacon???
“Because we have two characters that we wrote off in the beginning of the special, and we’re pressed for time…”
That just broke the fourth wall lol
Can I be a guest star?
Sorry! As much as we’d like to include as many PHB readers as we can into the special, we have already written out the special as is…
Anyways this special is great!