SADLY, IT IS NOT THIS.
BUT IT CAN LOOK LIKE THIS, WITH THE NEW-
Hello children. It is I who now speaks to you from a land that exists beyond the realm of your earthly habitations, to bring you this heavenly message:
I JUST ATE A CHURRO.
But not really. What I’m here to tell you is that this super cool item card was just found by PHF member Aaron.
I can’t wait to blast some baddies into obscure (and unimportant) things.
I kid. Anyway, if this item turns out to be as cool as it SEEMS, prepare to get your socks knocked off by…
MY SUPER AWESOME RAY SHOOTHER THINGY.